First Time Offender
Six friends (none of which are all that likable) are on a camping trip in the Australian outback. To avoid the awkwardness of having to listen to one of the couples fuck the other four go check out some rock paintings that one of the group is there to study. They’re admiring the ancient paintings when one of the girl’s, Kris, gets attacked by a rabbit that can only be described accurately as the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog (and if you don’t know what that’s referencing I can no longer be your friend).
After re-grouping at camp a while later Mel, the dumb blonde (the one that was fornicating previously (that’s right, bad shit’s going to happen to her)), decides to go skinny dipping in a lake next to their campsite only to emerge from the water within moments covered in leeches.
Dace, the anthropology student, and Mel’s boyfriend, Chad, come to her rescue and it’s decided she get some rest after her traumatic experience (aww, :::tears up:::). Rest apparently isn’t on Mel’s mind though as she wants a little more nookie, unfortunately she’s losing her teeth and Chad doesn’t seem all that interested in being gummed (if you catch my drift).
Everyone decides that Mel should probably go to the hospital and they attempt to leave only to find out that their car has been overrun by bugs that have eaten the tires. They have no choice but to stay the night and in the morning shit has gone from bad to fucking insane.
Mel has gone super “PMS” and it isn’t a pretty sight, but the resulting mayhem that follows is. I won’t share anymore because it’ll ruin the fun of watching it, but what follows is equal parts exploitation horror and demented fun.
Chad: She's sick.
Dace: She's eating him!
Chad: She needs help.
Dace: She's fucking eating him!
I'd say it's a tie between when Primal Mel takes out an unsuspecting animal and her reaction afterwards and when everyone is drawing straws to see who gets to play killer. (Honestly, what's a little attempted murder among friends?!?)
I didn’t really know what to expect when I turned Primal on, but I was intrigued considering it’s an Australian horror film and some really decent horror movies have come out of Australia in the past decade (Undead, Wolf Creek, & The Loved Ones). I was pleasantly surprised by the movie though. The acting is solid, the pace picks up quickly and doesn’t lag, and there are some genuine thrills, some genuine holy shit moments, and some genuine laugh out loud moments.
While not the greatest horror movie I’ve ever seen it wasn’t hard to watch, and it wasn’t a chore to get through. Admittedly, the ending is where things start to fall apart, and that doesn’t mean that the movie becomes unwatchable or renders the last 75 minutes of your life wasted, it just keeps it from rising above that of B-movie status.
Josh Reed made the 12,000 year time-lapse sequence at the beginning of the film by individually photoshopping almost 300 frames. If you go through frame by frame you can see Josh buried to his neck in one frame towards the end, and his daughter, Ch'aska, peeking out from behind a tree in another frame.